I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She said her name was "party"
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
