I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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