What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
