you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
