I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
