I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
