She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
sex in a hospital.. check
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
