Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
