There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
