Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
