i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Your penis caused this!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
