I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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