Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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