Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
