I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
