I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
