dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
