Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
