it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
