well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
