Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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