he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
