So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
