apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
