I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
