I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's always time for handjobs
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Randomize
