the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
