Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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