good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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