I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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