lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
