Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
