I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
