Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
