how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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