doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
