Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's shark week go big or go home
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
