TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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