No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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