I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
