There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
