Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
