margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
