He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
