I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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