Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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