I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
