but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
