Your tits are I can't wait for
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I CAN MOONWALK!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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