the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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