This is not my ceiling
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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