before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
