Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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